"My great hope for us as young women is to start being kinder to ourselves so that we can be kinder to each other. To stop shaming ourselves and other people: 'too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too anything.' There's a sense that we're all 'too' something, and we're all not enough. This is life. Our bodies change. Our minds change. Our hearts change." —Emma Stone
“Don’t eat these gol gappas too much, they might make you fat and we will have difficulty in finding the groom for you”, my grandmother screamed. I looked at her aghast with moving thoughts like aren’t you a women too for fat shaming another women that also your granddaughter.
This is what happens with people who are chubby or who have that little extra awesomeness in them. We are asked to eat less, drink more, avoid crabs and eat healthy, this and that and that and this. Every now and again we are lectured on how we should keep our body.
If you are a fat person then suddenly the whole world becomes very much concerned with your shape. When I say fat, it does not mean the chic kind of curvy, fat meaning fat, the not so toned gals, the with rolls and dimples.
Yes we also do exist; it is not just about the model type curvy. We live in the same world like everyone else but we are constantly critized regarding our weight and shape. When we travel, we have so many eyes on us not because we might be pretty for them but because they want to give us advice on how to lose weight.
It has become so normal for everyone else to critized the body that we feel disgraced with our own body. But let’s see it this way, if we all do hate our bodies then it does make us all connected. Body shaming has been there from past many years in the society. It is vicious cycle of judgment and criticism for the people who is going through from this.
How do we know what is body shaming:
When you criticize your own appearance, by comparing yourself to someone else and feel bad about your body then you are fat shaming your own self.
It does not matter how it shows, but when you compare someone with someone else of talk behind. Body shaming can affect the mental health of the person quite badly.
Why is it even important for the person to criticize someone based on their body type? We have a right to look the way we want to, there might be people who are suffering from some disorder that makes them obese that does not give us the right to judge their journey or to make them feel worse about themselves.
There are people who suffer from eating disorder due to depression or being in anxiety and rather than helping them we make them regret their choices.
When people judge you unfairly, it can make you feel like it's your fault. Well-meaning parents, siblings, or friends can sometimes make things worse by making "suggestions" about food or exercise. These good intentions may come across as criticism.
Some teens who are overweight are teased or bullied. Teasing and bullying can make you feel sad or embarrassed. Fear of being judged or rejected might make you shy away from people. You may stop doing things you enjoy. But the best thing to do is to take your mind — and other people's — off your weight and back onto you as a person
Remember that everyone feels shy when stepping into a new situation, even people who seem really confident. You may want to ask a friend to join you when trying new activities.
But what about when friends and family aren't giving you the support you need? If you feel pressured or misunderstood by friends or family, tell them how you feel. For example, tell them it doesn't help when they call you out when you slip up. Let people know what you appreciate (such as praise when you do well) and what you don't like (such as comments about weight or lecturing about food or exercise).
When we have negative thoughts and feelings about our bodies, these feelings may overflow into other areas of life. Negative thoughts can affect a person's confidence and make it difficult to accomplish goals. For example, someone who thinks "I can't do this" or "Why bother, I'll always be overweight" may have a harder time losing weight. This is one reason why it's important to recognize any negative emotions and work hard to change them.
Another great way to boost self-esteem is to accomplish goals that you set for yourself. If you're trying to lose weight, make your goals about changing behaviors, not about losing weight. Set small, realistic goals and then check in regularly to watch your progress. For example, your goal may be to pack a healthy lunch one day a week.
There's no doubt that being overweight can be hard, both physically and emotionally. But there are ways to feel better, including being aware of emotions, thinking positively, and finding people who support you.
You all are beautiful inside-out and you need to realize this, fight with all you might and win this battle. We all can do this.
BE THE CHANGE TO SEE THE CHANGE